Start Your Day the Right Way

I went shopping yesterday to stock up on all my healthy essentials as I was running so low. 

I feel fortunate to see my cupboards and fridge looking so healthy. Having spent a lot of time in India and witnessing, first hand, the downright poverty which is so in your face present in many areas, I do not take our good fortune for granted.


I also feel especially fortunate that my children and I, not only have food to eat but that we can actually choose what to buy, what to eat. We can choose to be healthy. Many families are eating but far from properly or healthily. Fruit and veg aren’t cheap and often far more costly than some cheap, packaged, processed meat, or freezer type meat and veg.


With the exception of last year when I had some time off to travel, for the past eight years since we moved to this house with its garden, I’ve grown my families vegetables. And I shall do the same again this year and will post regular updates too.

Anyway, my breakfast this morning was an amazing, delicious and healthy smoothie bowl.


In my NUTRI BULLET I blended:

  • Kale Leaves
  • Banana
  • Avocado
  • Soya milk
  • Agave Nectar
  • Chia Seeds

I then poured this into a large, shallow bowl and added on top a mixture of apple slices, strawberries, blueberries and almond flakes. It was scrummy!

Anyway, I’m off now to get out in that garden. The sun is shining for the first time in over a week. 🙂

Love Heidi xx




Mehndi Art on Cardk

This evening, I was looking over old photos of some artwork I’d completed from some years back.

I came across a very large piece and which I still have in my possession.

The painting was inspired by my love of henna art.  I love henna art work so much! If I was able to have this beautiful and amazing artwork painted over my whole body, every day, then I would!

I am in love with the intricate designs whether they be from Indian or Arabic origin.

I am in awe of the professional mehndi artists who hold the cone with so much ease and draw with such precision.  I recently discovered on youtube there are professional mehndi artist competitions!

This project took me some time to complete as being a very busy mum to younger children at the time, I went back to it and painted when I had time. A little bit here and there. I used a combination of fine liners including:


I hope you enjoy looking through the photos 🙂

awidth=”960″pea full I chose the Peacock, the National Bird of India as the main part of my design[/caption]

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Love Heidi xxx

A Visit to Heaven

Hello readers. I hope you’re all doing well .😊
I hope this account of my brief journey to another realm helps those whom are grieving for a loved one who has passed over.

In 1993, my partner, my best friend and my love, died.

His name was Julian. Jay, for short. He was a troubled guy but had a very good heart.

For the rest of my life, I will never forget the day that I learned of Jay’s death.

I returned from the forest close by to my house and where I had been collecting firewood. My friend Mark and his partner, Ian, were sitting on my doorstep awaiting my return. Baring in mind, this was 25 years ago and mobile phones hadn’t been invented, they hadn’t been able to let me know quickly of their visit and I also didn’t have a landline phone either!

I saw them and wondered why they were there. As I approached, they both stood up and I saw immediately the grave look on their faces. Despite that though, I was very happy to see them. They treated me very gently and refused at first to explain their reasons for being at my house. They just said for me to come inside and they’d explain everything.

They sat me down and told me that Jay had died.

I went into shock and then stood up and tried to start cleaning my house, but they stopped me and asked me, very gently, to look for his families phone numbers as they needed to be informed.

I did this, phone calls were made, a funeral was arranged and my sister came down to stay with me.

At the funeral, I was so distressed, family and friends were afraid that I would tried to throw myself into the grave hole and people had to hold me back. I realise that sounds very dramatic. But it was a very dramatic time.

My beautiful sisters wouldn’t hear of me being alone to care for my two children and so they stepped in as best they could. Firstly, we went to stay at my sisters house in London for a week and then the children and I flew to America to stay with my eldest sister for six weeks.

Whilst I was staying in London, I experienced a divinely beautiful visit to heaven. The world of death. The after life. And I met Jay.

It wasn’t a dream. I had been alive on this planet for 23 years by this time and I know what a dream is. And besides, I experienced many, many grief fraught dreams in the months following Jay’s death and, believe me, this wasn’t a dream.

Here is the account of my beautiful experience.

I was sat in pure whiteness. A pure light so bright that in ordinary circumstances it would be too blinding for the naked human eye. When I say I sat, I mean just that. I was sitting with my legs tucked underneath me. There was no floor, nor ceiling, no walls. Just whiteness, everywhere.

The feeling of love, everywhere, was sublime. There was no feeling of anything bad, it was just purely and simply pure, unconditional love. Nothing was wrong in that moment. Or any moment. All was just as it was. Unless one has experienced this feeling of sublime love, it literally cannot be explained by writing. It is beyond any vocabulary. It is not of this physical, 3D realm.

I sat in this pure love whiteness and ahead of me I saw a figure emerging out of nowhere but from a very long way away, all at the same time. It was Jay. He walked towards me in his usual jeans and t- shirt. In this physical realm my heart ached for him, uncontrollably, day and night. But in this beautiful spiritual realm, there was no longing. No heartache. We were both shrouded in this beautiful, unconditional love light and I felt happy.

Jay walked toward me and sat directly opposite me. We stared at one another and smiled. We stayed like that, just sitting and smiling and then he ‘spoke’ to me, telepathically. He told me that he was fine. That he was now safe, that everything was beautiful and that I had nothing to be worried about.

It was sublime.

And then he stood up and without a backwards glance, he walked away. As I say, in the months following Jay’s return to Source, I experienced many horrific dreams where I would wake up crying and searching for him in my mind and feeling hopeless and desperate that he was gone. But as I watched Jay walk away in the light, I felt no urge to jump up and run after him and tell him not to go, to please stay. I felt nothing but love and purity of spirit. I felt happy.

When I awoke the following morning, I immediately remembered our beautiful experience and was filled with peace. I said to myself, ‘I saw Jay last night. I actually met with Jay’. And I knew this to be true.

Over the past 25 years, I have told this story to quite a few people. There are those who are skeptical and question wether it was just a dream. A dream filled by a deep, grief filled desire to see Jay again. And there are those who believe also that I had indeed met Jay in his spirit dimension and that he had spoken with me.

I feel very blessed to have experienced many moments of grace in my life and now that I have the time to write, I look forward to sharing many more of those experiences with you.

Heidi xx

A New Mattress

Manifesting Stories #2

Some years ago, when I was realising that I could literally ‘dream up’ anything, I decided to give it a go with a new mattress.

The mattress I was using on my own bed at that time was very old, seriously lumpy and extremely uncomfortable! Before my newly found thought freedom, any thoughts of a new mattress had been fraught with feelings of lack and of having no idea how I could ever afford one and so they were pushed to the back of my mind whilst my thoughts instead only concentrated on the day to day and how to manage my children and their special needs.

Anyway, once I had decided to try the whole ‘manifesting anything we like’ magic out on a new mattress for myself, each night, when I went to bed, I would breathe calmly and slowly and get myself into a meditative state. I cleared my mind of the days worries and gave no thought to the busy day which would lay ahead with the children when I awoke.

Instead, I lay there and ran my hands over the bed sheet and attempted to completely ignore the broken springs of the mattress which were sticking in my body. As I did this, I very strongly ‘felt’ the firmness of my new mattress, all the while, over and over, saying, Thank You, Thank You and I really love my new mattress. I fell to sleep this way and repeated this ritual each night.

I can’t now remember how many days later ( this happened many years ago), but definitely under a week, I was on the phone to my old school friend. We were just chatting about this and that and then she said, ‘You don’t happen to know anyone who needs a mattress, do you?’

I felt that lovely, warm feeling of alignment to Source come over me and I told her that I did indeed know someone; me! She told me it was one she had been using herself but her and her husband were updating and they were looking to give theirs away for free. Now, just to say, my friend and her husband only ever had very nice and new things in their house. They are very much people who like to have a good quality of life, materialistically, and everything in their home reflects that. So, needless to say, I knew the mattress was going to be in tip top, used condition.

A few nights later, I found myself spreading fresh sheets over my lovely new mattress. Well, new to me, anyway. My friend had obviously used a very potent smelling fabric conditioner on her sheets as the mattress smelled amazing! But that wasn’t the best of it. The mattress was deep, incredibly good quality, stain free, firm and just so wonderfully comfortable.

All these years later ( it must be around 10 years ago now), I am still using this mattress as I have had absolutely no reason to change it. It’s been jumped on multiple times by my kids whilst we’ve been play fighting! a All my kids and I have slept on it together, many times over the years, and yet it still has kept its firmness and good quality.

I’m so grateful to my friend who offered me this gift and I’m also so grateful for my awakening.

I wish to all of you who reads my blog that you, yourselves, come to know that with gratitude, love and faith in the unseen hands that hold you and the unseen arms that envelope you, that you too can find your ability to receive.

Heidi xx

Ayurvedic Massage Course, Goa


In December 2017, I attended the Ayurbalance massage course with the company Rasovai in Goa. It is a twelve-day course and it was really enjoyable.

The course was created and run by Chetan, a lovely, gentle, kind Indian man, who was really great at his craft!

On day one, in the morning session, we sat on meditation floor chairs in a semi-circle around Chetan which was nice. He introduced the course programme to us in a clear and concise way.IMG_5087


There were seven of us taking part in the course. Two ladies from The Netherlands, a lady from France, a yoga and dance teacher ( woman) from Finland, a man from Malaysia, a woman from Brazil and myself.

Following our introductions, we then we got straight into massage training.

The beautiful space we are using is at Wellness Inn Ashvem, Goa.


Wellness Inn, Ashvem, North Goa

It’s the same space we used for the Abhyanga massage, marma point massage and Shirodhara course last week but the layout of the room was set up very differently today! I like this better. It seems less chaotic, more organised and I really like the seating semi-circle with mats on the floor.


started off the actual massage training by watching Chetan demonstrate the first part of the sequence on the Brazilian ladies husband (who had come in as a model only). It was a great sequence and easy to remember. We then paired up and gave and received.

This particular massage style combines strokes for relaxation and some serious hard pressing for deep tissue work, which I love to receive but discovered is not so easy to give! I developed a new respect for all those deep tissue massage therapists who have helped make me feel wonderful in the past. I kept forgetting to lean in with a straight back and use my body weight so I was just pressing with my hands and that makes it super hard work.

First, we use our hands, then our ( loose) knuckles, then forearms and finally, elbows. The elbow movement was used in the space between the spine and muscle groups. It requires a certain angle for flow, which isn’t easy. If the elbow falls out of place, it really hurts!


Following our training, we sat again and discussed any issues or questions we had about it all. Then at 1pm, we broke for lunch.


The afternoon session started. There was no longer a cool morning breeze running through the training hall, it was warm and we were sleepy. It’s so damn hard to get going in the afternoon and one literally has to force the brain to work and the eyes to remain open. ( This is why on the Abhyanga course we changed the timings from 3 – 6pm to 9.30am – 12.30pm). Even Dr Urja was falling asleep at times!

I have no idea about the biological workings of the body so I have never had an understanding of why we feel sleepy in warm weather but today I learned why! So, here goes with the biology lesson and it won’t be much because it’s taken from my very basic, scribbled notes which I wrote whilst drinking water and fighting sleep!


Our blood is pumped from our heart, through the arteries and through vessels surrounding the cell. Our blood carries oxygen, vitamins, glucose.

Metabolism is glucose used by the cell to create energy.

Activity ( exercise) causes maintenance of the cell as it lets in the good stuff ( oxygen, glucose etc) and releases carbon dioxide.

Blood pressure means the pressure of blood exerted on the artery walls and that same pressure then forces the blood through the wall of the semipermeable membrane of the cell.

In colder temperatures the arteries shrink and when in warmer weather they expand.

So, in warm weather, we have low blood pressure around the cells and there is not enough pressure to force the glucose and oxygen into the cell – hence no energy and needing a siesta! When we feel like this, we are taking less exercise and so our cells are not being rejuvenated.

When we are massaging, we are pushing and moving the blood around the body thus the circulatory process becomes more efficient and increases and in turn, the cells are compressing and decompressing ( as in physical activity) therefore metabolical cell rejuvenation heightens. Nutri cells, oxygen going in, toxins being released. Basically, massage aids in the detoxifying of cells process.

And now I know why I look years younger, my skin looks renewed, my eyes brighter and overall I feel and look more wonderful following a massage!


We can eat as many whole foods as we like ( which, of course, are more beneficial to our overall system than injesting toxins and ‘bad foods’ ) but if we haven’t taken exercise or massage, which rejuvenates our cells, our cells are quite literally ‘full up’. So, when embarking on Ayurvedic Panchakarma ( complete cleansing of the body), we need to ‘make space’ in our cells otherwise they won’t properly accept the treatment.

Our bodies are wonderful, miraculous machines! Just even writing this most basic of basic understanding of our cells causes to me to marvel and have a deep respect for myself. It causes me to think of the Universe, of which we are not separate, and marvel even more at our place in the cosmos. But more on that another time, maybe……

During our lecture, Chetan told us that we could indeed take a little nap on our floor chairs if we needed to! He explained that attempting to stay focused with our brains when our bodies were saying, SIESTA!, was just causing stress on ourselves and during a power nap, everything he was saying would go in, regardless. Love this guy!

Following our lecture, we then watched Chetan demonstrate the second sequence in the massage; neck, shoulder and arm. It involved a lot of deep pressure movement again with hands, knuckles, forearm and this time, thumbs. I wasn’t the only person saying we had difficulty remembering this sequence. For me, personally, it was for two reasons. One, I was sleepy and watching Chetan demonstrate the sequence was so hypnotic! And two, being the afternoon and it was so warm, my brain wasn’t in ‘learning ‘ mode! So, when I came time to give the massage, I had to keep asking questions. But that was fine. Chetan is a good and thorough teacher and came to each of our tables in turn and helped us all with the movements.

The remainder of the course took on the same type of daily schedule; massage practices in the morning and then learning about muscle groups and their functions in the afternoon. As the course went on, we had more and more massage to practice each day and so sometimes, massage practice took place in both the am and pm.

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I thoroughly enjoyed this course with Rasovai. The other students were all so lovely and the fact that I received amazing massages every day was an added bonus! Best of all though, I learned a lot and have come back to the UK with a new skill which I will add to the Abhyanga massage, Shirodhara treatment and Reiki healing on offer from my up and coming therapy business, Bhakti Therapies.


Heidi xx

The Power of Your Subconcious Mind

Manifestation Stories #1

Years ago, in Goa, I think around 2008, I realised that my life needed more direction. I couldn’t keep running away to India to escape my horrid neighbourhood situation. I felt all over the place and unsettled. I needed to find some answers but I had no idea where to start. I felt desperate.

Help came one day in the form of a visit to a local bookstore. I used to buy the children’s educational books there as I was homeschooling them in India. I opened the shop door and right there, directly in front of me on a stand all of its own was a book called The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Dr Joseph Murphy.

Golden Hearts Emporium Margao, Goa

I strolled over to the stand, picked up the book and read the blurb and a random paragraph or two inside. I felt a surge of excitement as I realised that this was what I had been looking for and the thought that I had the power to change my own life, was empowering beyond belief.

That evening, after I had settled the kids in bed, I sat on my balcony and started to read. After the first three pages, I messaged my sister in Devon and suggested she go and buy this book straight away. “It will change your life’, I proclaimed. And it did, for both her and myself.

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It was the very beginning of what would later become an extraordinary life of self-empowerment which brought about huge life changes.

The book talks very simply of how we, as humans, have the power to choose how every aspect of our lives look like, and how we can literally invite into our lives all the things, people, situations and health that we desire.

What a revelation this was to me! I was fired up and I was hungry to finally start manifesting into my life all the things I DID want as opposed to unconsciously making happen all the things I didn’t want.

I started with a little experiment regarding my painful back. It hadn’t been a long-term problem but I’d obviously twisted it somehow, or maybe trapped a nerve somewhere as it had been paining for a few weeks prior. I told the children not to disturb mummy as I needed to go into the bedroom alone and quietly meditate for a while.

I sat still with my back as straight as it would allow and started to visualise. I played the detailed movie of myself prancing and dancing around on a lovely green lawn. I was making moves such as I ’d never made before. I was backflipping, hand-standing, cartwheeling, twisting around from left to right and my back was damn perfect. I said ‘thank you’ as I was visualising and, because I had just read The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Dr Joseph Murphy, I, as I said before, felt very fired up. This meant I had absolute faith that my experiment to heal my back would work. And of course, heal myself I did! Within about 10 minutes, I was standing up straight, back pain gone and it never returned.

You can imagine how THAT made me feel. My mind had healed my body and If I could do that then I could do bloody anything. I held my world in my hands. I suddenly felt as though I had magical powers!

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So well read, It’s falling apart!

This is not only just the first of many, many manifestation stories and I shall gradually share all off on here for you to have a read of and, hopefully, feel inspired by, but this book was the first in a long string of books which been pivotal in my awakening journey over the past ten years.

The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne. Yes, I can since see that whilst this book mostly teaches us how to ‘get things’, all those materialistic things in life like the car, the dream house, the ‘soul mate’, lots of money etc, and didn’t speak much about love, our true nature, it did open up the flood gates for people to realise that they are walking around every day, unconsciously creating their day to day experiences and the state of their relationships with people. That was a great thing! It made people realise the power to create their own reality was in their own hands!

Notes From The Universe by Mike Dooley, an author who featured on The Secret. A fun and inspiring book full of daily quotes and passages. I actually signed up for the daily email quotes and one point. I kept it going for a while.

The Conversations With God trilogy by Neale Donald Walsch which had me sat on my sofa for days on end, glued to each book and where I experienced many profound ‘light bulb moments’, as I like to call them.

Infinite Possibilities, by Mike Dooley. I read this book in 2012 when I was going through an extremely challenging time in my life relating to one of my children. It helped me to remain calm and focused and believe in the power of good. In many ways, it actually kept me sane during a time when I felt like I was slowly losing my shit.

The Sedona Method by Hale Dwoskin.  “The Sedona Method is an extremely powerful tool that will support you in finding inner balance and emotional freedom. The technique supports you in quickly shifting your state of consciousness from one of stress and resistance to one of relaxation and allowance. I highly recommend it. ” – Debbie Ford.

Synchro Destiny by Deepak Chopra. Oh, how I love Deepak! I love to listen to his wisdom on You Tube. Even though the screen, I feel such a wonderful energy from this man. Such an insightful, intelligent and warm person. This book is also completely dog eared with turned pages and pencil marks all over the pages where I’ve earmarked them for a book excerpt post one day.

All these books and so, so many more have led me to my current read.  Autobiography of a Yogi is, to date, one of the best books on spirituality I have ever read. It is beautifully written. The content, at times, takes my breath away. This book also has many turned over pages and pencil circles around paragraphs! I’m very much looking forward to writing about it.

Happy reading and happy manifesting, everyone 🙂


Heidi xx

(pssst – this post contains affiliate links. I’m hoping to fund more book buying 🙂 Namaste.)




A Day On Dal Lake, Srinagar, Kashmir

In May 2017, I was lucky enough to have a short visit to Srinagar in Kashmir. My friend, who I’d been travelling in India with, owned a houseboat on Dal Lake and that was my home for 4 nights.

Dal Lake at sunrise, as seen from my houseboat.

Usually, a tourist trip on Dal lake lasts around three hours, or so, but my friend, (who actually lives on the lake and who was very eager to be a great host), organised a trip for us both for the whole day. We ended up being out on the water for ten, beautiful hours!



Our Shikara for the day 🙂

I absolutely love the Shikaras. The style of them and the fancy, colourful decorative designs make me very happy! These gorgeous wooden boats can be seen everywhere on the lake and certainly are not there just to ferry tourists around. Folks sell their fruit and veges and other market type goods from these quaint wooden boats. I was soon to learn how comfortable and relaxing they were to lie in, as that is what I spent the majority of my day doing.  That and a bit of rowing along with lots of time taking photos and making videos of the incredible views of the lake and the majestic Himalayan mountains in the distance.

Eagles as common as sparrows
A floating shop



We stopped off at a floating restaurant where we bought an incredibly tasty veg biryani. I felt so happy! Just floating along, looking out at the beautiful scenery and eating tasty Indian food. It doesn’t get better than this!

Dal Lake, Kashmir.
Just look at those water lilies!

One of the things I noticed about our ride on Dal Lake was the extreme peace. Gone was the incessant beep of horns, which almost become white noise in the chaos of India streets. They were replaced by what felt at times like complete silence. All this beauty around me, watching the wonders of wildlife who call Dal Lake home caused such a sense of peace in my heart. Add to this the fact that all I could hear was the sound of nature and the gentle, rhythmic splosh of the boat oar on the water as we rowed slowly along, made me feel like I was in some sort of heaven. As the day progressed I became more and more deeply relaxed. It was sublime. IMG_8497

The crystal clear waters of Dal Lake, Kashmir

Another aspect of Dal Lake which astounded me was how clear the waters were in many places. The reflection of the trees and mountains made the lake look like it was made of glass. At times, I could see so far deep down below into the waters.

I lay on the soft cushions of the Shikara with my eyes closed, shaded from the hot sun by the roof and allowed my arm to flop gently over the side of this beautiful little boat, my hand swaying in the refreshingly cool water. Listening to the occasional sound of the curtains flapping in the breeze, I wondered when the last time was that I felt this happy.

At times, we took a break from moving and just stopped. We just stayed there in virtual silence, no one speaking, on the stillness of Dal Lake.



Visiting the Hazrabat Mosque.




We finally wound our way back home in the late afternoon and reached back to the houseboat at 18:30pm. We’de been out for ten hours. The ten best hours I can remember spending in very many years. If you’d like to watch the video about my beautiful day, please click here 🙂


I feel incredibly grateful for that special day on Dal Lake. I will always remember it.



Heidi xx







27th NOVEMBER 2017

I have just attended the Ayurvedic abhyanga marma point massage course in Ashvem, Goa. The course was run by the company Raso Vai and our teacher on this course was  Dr Anita D. Rawandale (B.A.M.S).

We started on 21st November and finished today, 27th. Just a week, three hours daily.

Because it was a very short course we only covered the basics of the Doshas.

‘The Three Doshas: Vata, Pitta, and Kapha. The doshas are biological energies found throughout the human body and mind. They govern all physical and mental processes and provide every living being with an individual blueprint for health and fulfillment.’

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I still have a long, long way to go to even part way understanding the doshas and being confident to diagnose a client who has come to me for ayurvedic massage therapy. The type of oil and heat of the oil used for this massage technique depends on what dominating dosha the client has. However, I really did enjoy learning the massage technique and I’m ready as ever to get practising on willing people, for a small charge. Right now, I’m still counting my strokes and having to think ahead to what position follows the last but, of course, in time I will just naturally flow.

I just LOVE giving the massage. It’s very meditative for me as well as relaxing for the person receiving. When I’m in the flow and one movement to the next is seamless, the body ceases to be skin, and it becomes a blank canvas, with me the artist flowing with my paintbrush. But the best part for me is knowing that I am helping to make someone feel amazing.


Having been a carer for 27 years, I am registered with the carers association in my county. I am often sent emails with information on courses they run for carers and pamper days, that sort of thing. Around 10 or 11 years ago now, I attended a small break with the children to meet other disabled families. We shared, we cared and we also had the opportunity to receive some massage therapy. It wasn’t a huge session and I can’t even remember now how I even had the chance to attend at all. Maybe one, or all, of the other parents watched Rune and India for me.

What I do remember, however, is not only how lovely I felt but how grateful also for the time given to me. I really wanted to give like this to other carers and make people feel as lovely and relaxed as I did.

That one massage never left my memory and in 2011, I applied for a carers grant to receive massage therapy on a regular basis. I was granted 15 sessions! I couldn’t attend weekly as life with the twins wasn’t as predictable as that and I actually ended up only taking about half of those sessions. Reason being for that was, even though the massage therapist was a lovely woman, she didn’t stop talking throughout the session and answering her busy door! So that kind of put me off attending any more sessions with her but it certainly didn’t put me off wanting to realise my dream one day of becoming a massage therapist.

So, here I am. Combining my love of all things Indian and massage therapy.

Looking forward to the next course in four days time!

If you want to know about about the RasoVai courses and maybe attend one for yourself, then you can check them out there.